I recently got into a bit of a row with a co-worker over something really stupid - cosmetics. She was having an Arbonne party at work and wanted all of the women to come for free lunch and to listen to her prattle on about how great Arbonne is. I was actually looking for a new cleanser and moisturizer so I thought well, why not.
So I went. Arbonne is very big on how natural and good all of their cosmetics are. I am not even going to touch on Arbonne as a way to make a living. I was talked into signing up to be a consultant (much to my shame); mainly for the 45% discount and so that I could easily return the products if I didn't like them without my co-worker knowing (which I ended up doing..and Arbonne was great about it). I began to wonder how "natural" their products really were. So I did some research on-line and then on the way home that day there was an interview on FM107 with a lady who wrote a book advocating cosmetic consumer safety. It was ironic. She mentioned a database called www.cosmeticsdatabase.org that independently tests cosmetic products and lists all the ingredients in a cosmetic along with a toxicity rating and a data gap percentage (how sure are they that the ingredient is really that toxic).
Well Arbonne was just as "toxic" as anything else. In fact Cover Girl was in general less "toxic". This just stumped me. How can a company get away with this type of advertising? Well I went through my Arbonne consultant materials and Arbonne is being honest. They say they use natural fragrances; and they do. Fragrances are in general not tested all that well and tend to have a lot of negative neurological and toxic effects (when was the last time someone's perfume gave you a headache); Arbonne does not use synthetic fragrances. They do however use synthetic preservatives; chemical surfactants; etc. etc. Arbonne leaves it up to their consultants to misunderstand and misconstrue the meaning of their natural message. That being said why can't we use more natural products?
I mean soap has been around forever. Why can't soap be "natural"? Why can't more things use essential oils as fragrance? We all know the answer; because it is cheaper to make chemicals in bulk than it is to get natural oils. It's all about profit. Also most of the evidence that some of these things (parabens, dioxanes, etc) are toxic to you is scanty. People use very small amounts of these things, they haven't been around for that long (less than 50 years in many cases), so there aren't many long term studies have been done. Still it's disturbing to look up the ingredients of the Johnson and Johnson baby wash and see that there are parabens in there, mysterious fragrance, and other ingredients that give it a moderately toxic rating on cosmetic database.com. Sure the studies supporting these results are a little bit contradictory but why take a chance?
I work at a chemical company. I know that getting products to the public is about doing it as fast and as cost effective as you can. Is the FDA going to require a 30 year study on the effects of a new fragrance and chemical in a new baby wash...ummm no, they are not. The FDA doesn't have the staff or funds to do something like that; they are way backed up on prescription drugs and medical devices. Most long term studies are ongoing and commence as the product is being sold.
So all of the above has led me to start looking into some new things. Especially in the area of bath products. What's out there? How "natural" can you get? What happens to shelf-life when you use a natural product? How crazy should you get about the whole natural and organic thing? I mean you can clothe your child in organic cotton for goodness sake and use unbleached toliet paper on your behind...where do you draw the line? Do you need to draw a line? I mean when you get right down to it everything, and I mean absolutely everything, is a chemical. Does it matter if it occurs in nature or synthetically? History tells us it does. So far I believe only synthetic chemicals have been found to be bio-accumulating. But still, poison ivy gives you a rash and it's "natural".
Science always outpaces safety. It has always been this way. Chemists used to have the shortest lifespan of any professional; that there should tell you something about chemical safety. Everyone is always eager to have the latest and greatest; and inventions are normally done in good will. All of us chemists are trying to make people's lives easier; no scientist I know is intentionally trying to poison people. It still begs the question, how do you make your home safe? How many unsafe things are we ignoring because it is too much and too scary to think of them otherwise? I mean you could drive yourself crazy with this. We already eat organic when we can but what to do next.
So I took the first step. Bath products are notorious for their lack of regulation by the government; the US has some of the worst standards for cosmetics. So now we are using California Baby for Keegan. It smells great and works really well and I like the fact that the company supports the advocate group for safer cosmetics. I've switched to Giovanni organic hair products. They are not at all expensive and work well. I found some great skin care in Korres skin care, you can eat most of this stuff, it works well, but is a bit expensive. Still I am getting older so I am willing to put some money into my face.
Then what's next. Well now I am looking at cleaning and paper products. I started thinking about how the Windex makes me cough and makes my eyes run (ammonia content); and how the toilet cleaner burns my skin. I decided to look into Seventh generation products. Ironically the same day I made this decision, Cate called me up and started talking about how she was intrigued by these products. Then I got my Cookie magazine for the month and there was a big article in there on having a toxin-free household which mentioned Seventh Generation products. Still it is a lot to grasp and the products are more expensive, and in the end you are left wondering if it actually makes a difference to your health and the health of those around you.
While reading reviews about Seventh generation products online I stumbled upon more disturbing info. As I chemist I know all plastics leech over time. This means any water bottle you drink out does have some pthtalates and other monomers in it. It may be a minuscule amount, does this matter? We don't know. Can you believe they sell non-leeching aluminum sippy cups for babies? I guess since bottles and sippy cups are the main form of beverage transport for our babies it makes sense. It set my head reeling; I mean all Keegan drinks out of are plastic cups. Plastic is a relatively new technology; and there are some dutch companies working on non-leeching plasticware for babies. But, oh my, it makes my head hurt, really it does! Ever notice how these problems come out in the news and then go away? Why is that? Is it because the huge corporations spend a lot of money lobbying to have the government ignore these issues; a big part of me wants to believe that's not the case. What are the alternatives though? Did everyone decide that it is just too scary to deal with so we all choose to ignore it?
I kind of agree with the Cookie article when the writer mentions that a large amount of these issues are ignored because they are scary, immense, and people are willing to take the risk for the immediate convenience of things. I can't help but wondering if some people are thinking about it too much (like myself) or if we aren't thinking about it enough and it will bit us in the rear in 30 years.
All of these issues still leave me a bit confused and concerned, but I guess my decision is to support companies that either 1) donate part of their profits to create biodegradable and renewable resources or 2) support additional testing and consumer safety. Sure these products are more expensive, but we can afford it right now and I guess if it gives a sense of safety (even if it's a false sense) it might be worth it. At least some part of my stressed out chemist-self feels a bit better when I can pronounce and understand all of the ingredients on my bubble bath. It's a lot to grasp and it's something I think you address more avidly if you have been chronically ill or have a little person in the house. Still, I really love my Windex; it's going to be very hard to let go of the beautiful blue, eye stinging formulation that is my Windex.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Antics at the MOA
This weekend Keegan, Lyle and I went to the Mall of America (MOA) with my mom, dad, sister, and, her husband, Roberto.
Initially Keegan was strapped into his stroller, but as has lately been the case, that did not last long. The boy wanted to boogie. Lyle, my dad, and sometimes my mom took turns watching him while Kim, Roberto, and I went in and out of stores there.
There were a couple highlights to this trip, regarding Keegan. While Lyle, me, Kim, and Roberto were in Express my dad was standing outside with Keegan. My dad was on his cell phone, when a lady looked at him and said "Looks like someone is trying to escape!" My dad looked down and Keegan had gotten his seat belt off and was shimmying down towards the ground. He had gotten his head down below the tray on the stroller and his toes were almost to the ground when he was found out.
After that my mom took him and let him run around The Limited some. The store wasn't that crowded and Keegan had a ball running around between display tables and shaking his butt to the music there. Of course, everyone in the store thought he was "sooooo, cute".
Outside of a different store Lyle and dad were waiting with Keegan. When my mom saw them she laughed at the manly pose Keegan has assumed. He was leaning on the railings looking down to the 1st level just like Lyle and dad. She thought this was super cute until she realized that Keegan was trying to scrape his shoes off of his feet and drop them down onto the people below. What a stinker!
Keegan also loved the window displays. In front of Victoria's Secret there was a stuffed Pink dog with wings and a halo pinned on it for Valentine's day. Keegan toddled over to it and proceeded to "pet nice" on the doggy's head. It was really cute until Keegan decided that he had had enough of "petting nice" and he pulled the wings off of the stuffed dog. We had to chase Keegan down and Lyle was stuck standing in front of Victoria's Secret pinning stuffed wings back on a stuffed dog while I took Keegan to a safer, less destructive play area.
In general Keegan loved looking over the rails, running between columns, and looking at people and shopping items with equal vigor.
Everything went swimmingly until we got to Famous Dave's to eat dinner. Keegan had enough of everything by then. This is going on probably 5 hours at the mall, so who can blame him. The only thing that would appease the boy is eating corn muffins. So everyone donated corn muffins to the "keeping Keegan happy" fund. Keegan liked to rip the tops off of the muffins and then stuff them in his mouth.
Even that wasn't enough to keep him placated toward the end. So I took him out of the restaurant and we examined the giant bear (which he also nicely patted on the nose) and then we started doing heroic jumps up onto and off of the columns outside of the restaurant. This got the little man giggling pretty hard. A lady in the restaurant and her mother were watching us closely. The mom finally said "my daughter will have one of those any day now!" Ends up the woman's daughter was 39.5 weeks pregnant. I sympathized with the daughter and told her that she was doing the toughest part right now and that it does get better (although given the activities I was partaking in, she may not have believed me)!
Probably the most amazing thing is how many people want to stop and talk to Keegan and talk to us about Keegan. It's great how many nice people you meet. Of course Keegan is very inviting; he always walks around with a huge grin on his face, he waves at people who wave at him, and gives high-fives aplenty. I hope that he can keep his positive attitude of the world for a long time to come!
Initially Keegan was strapped into his stroller, but as has lately been the case, that did not last long. The boy wanted to boogie. Lyle, my dad, and sometimes my mom took turns watching him while Kim, Roberto, and I went in and out of stores there.
There were a couple highlights to this trip, regarding Keegan. While Lyle, me, Kim, and Roberto were in Express my dad was standing outside with Keegan. My dad was on his cell phone, when a lady looked at him and said "Looks like someone is trying to escape!" My dad looked down and Keegan had gotten his seat belt off and was shimmying down towards the ground. He had gotten his head down below the tray on the stroller and his toes were almost to the ground when he was found out.
After that my mom took him and let him run around The Limited some. The store wasn't that crowded and Keegan had a ball running around between display tables and shaking his butt to the music there. Of course, everyone in the store thought he was "sooooo, cute".
Outside of a different store Lyle and dad were waiting with Keegan. When my mom saw them she laughed at the manly pose Keegan has assumed. He was leaning on the railings looking down to the 1st level just like Lyle and dad. She thought this was super cute until she realized that Keegan was trying to scrape his shoes off of his feet and drop them down onto the people below. What a stinker!
Keegan also loved the window displays. In front of Victoria's Secret there was a stuffed Pink dog with wings and a halo pinned on it for Valentine's day. Keegan toddled over to it and proceeded to "pet nice" on the doggy's head. It was really cute until Keegan decided that he had had enough of "petting nice" and he pulled the wings off of the stuffed dog. We had to chase Keegan down and Lyle was stuck standing in front of Victoria's Secret pinning stuffed wings back on a stuffed dog while I took Keegan to a safer, less destructive play area.
In general Keegan loved looking over the rails, running between columns, and looking at people and shopping items with equal vigor.
Everything went swimmingly until we got to Famous Dave's to eat dinner. Keegan had enough of everything by then. This is going on probably 5 hours at the mall, so who can blame him. The only thing that would appease the boy is eating corn muffins. So everyone donated corn muffins to the "keeping Keegan happy" fund. Keegan liked to rip the tops off of the muffins and then stuff them in his mouth.
Even that wasn't enough to keep him placated toward the end. So I took him out of the restaurant and we examined the giant bear (which he also nicely patted on the nose) and then we started doing heroic jumps up onto and off of the columns outside of the restaurant. This got the little man giggling pretty hard. A lady in the restaurant and her mother were watching us closely. The mom finally said "my daughter will have one of those any day now!" Ends up the woman's daughter was 39.5 weeks pregnant. I sympathized with the daughter and told her that she was doing the toughest part right now and that it does get better (although given the activities I was partaking in, she may not have believed me)!
Probably the most amazing thing is how many people want to stop and talk to Keegan and talk to us about Keegan. It's great how many nice people you meet. Of course Keegan is very inviting; he always walks around with a huge grin on his face, he waves at people who wave at him, and gives high-fives aplenty. I hope that he can keep his positive attitude of the world for a long time to come!
Friday, January 18, 2008
Asserting his will...
So as I mentioned briefly in the last post, Keegan is definitely making progress on becoming his own person. This started a couple weeks ago and seems directly linked with his mastery of walking.
When Keegan initially started walking he loved to hold onto your hand. Part of the was necessity to help him keep his balance, and part of it was insecurity on his part. Well that has pretty much gone out the window. Keegan is *very* adept at walking now and he seems to feel secure and confident of who he is.
Lyle and I really like Keegan to explore his boundaries and to stretch his limits of comfort. We may regret this mentality later, but I have found personally that people grow the most, mentally and personality-wise, when they can test their limits of comfort and expand them. For Keegan this new limit was walking on his own. Keegan loves crowds of people and loves exploring new places. Lyle and I didn't have a lot to do and weren't in a hurry, so we went to the mall.
We found out that Keegan does not believe that he needs to ride in a stroller anymore. That was okay, as I said we weren't in a hurry, so we let him walk. Usually he holds your hand and walks nicely beside you. Alas, it 'twas not meant to be! As soon as I grabbed Keegan's hand he jerked his hand out of mine and, with a defiant look, took off. This behavior was slightly bratty and kind of amusing. We had purchased a harness for Keegan, so this little fit got Keegan the privilege of wearing a harness. Kind of a compromise; Keegan could walk and not hold our hand as long as he wore the harness.
We meandered through Macy's; sometimes letting Keegan lead the way, sometimes not. By the time we got the entrance of the mall from Macy's Keegan was getting tired. He kept tripping over his feet. So we put him in the stroller. This was not popular with Keegan but after a couple minutes of protesting he calmed down and enjoyed the ride. That is one thing I am learning about babies. Although I like Keegan to test his limits, he doesn't have the common sense to know when he has reached his limits.
So a quick side note: the mission of this whole shopping trip was to get me a new swimsuit. I hate shopping for swimsuits. Interestingly enough I did find some swimsuits in Macy's. Lyle and Keegan came into the colossal fitting room with me so I could try them. I like Lyle to give his opinion on the suits but I refuse to walk out of the fitting room in them. Somehow the lighting in the department store is made to make you look as horrible as possible. Somehow Lyle also seems to have a much better opinion of my body than I do. These two things balance each other out. Lyle knows just what to say to make me feel like the swimsuit looks good on me and I stand and stare at myself in the mirror trying to see what he sees :-)
Something we learned about fitting rooms: fitting rooms and babies don't really mix. Keegan liked peeking under the fitting room wall into the stall next to me. This was fine until a lady went in there. Then the lady got a surprise. There is something wrong about my 11 month old son peeking at ladies changing cloths under a fitting room wall. Luckily he is cute enough that people still have a sense of humor about it.
Okay, back to Keegan walking. We went the Herbergers and Keegan was starting to get restless in his stroller. So we let him out and put his harness on. He immediately ran underneath a display table with purses on it. I gently corralled him out of there. He did it again. Keegan thought it was *so* funny to run under there because we couldn't. Finally Keegan went under the table and wouldn't move. So I crawled under and got him out. Keegan was not pleased. As I mentioned in the last post, he screamed and kicked and hit, then screamed some more. At that point I got kind of pissed off. This was no longer fun; this was about Keegan being stubborn and persistent and deliberately doing what we asked him not to. Screw Keegan testing his limits, he was just being a brat. So with screaming child under arm and Lyle trailing with an empty stroller we left the store. We then put Keegan into the stroller (more screaming ensued) and left the mall.
There were two things that really surprised me about this experience. The first was that my sweet little boy, who loved holding hands and walking and always let me lead him places, had disappeared to be replaced by a assertive, opinionated little brat. The little angel that has never thrown a fit in public; threw one. The second thing was that it didn't really bother me as much as I thought it would. I thought I would be embarrassed when Keegan threw a fit, I thought my face would get red with embarrassment and I would get stressed out and break into a cold sweat. I didn't. It seemed as natural as anything to force this boundary on Keegan and take him screaming out of the store.
This incident wasn't about the people around us; it was about me, Keegan, and Lyle. I am not sure what the second part says about me; maybe I have relaxed some in my old age. Or maybe I just know Keegan. His is outgoing, adventurous, and fearless...I have known since he was born that he was going to be a boundary pusher. It seems completely natural that we are going to have some power struggles; boundaries and discipline will be needed. It will be difficult to find the right balance between giving him the freedom he needs to grow, and setting boundaries so that he becomes a responsible, well-mannered child and adult.
Ah well, someday I will read this entry and laugh about the naiveness in letting Keegan have maximum free will. Whatever the future; raising Keegan promises to be an adventure.
When Keegan initially started walking he loved to hold onto your hand. Part of the was necessity to help him keep his balance, and part of it was insecurity on his part. Well that has pretty much gone out the window. Keegan is *very* adept at walking now and he seems to feel secure and confident of who he is.
Lyle and I really like Keegan to explore his boundaries and to stretch his limits of comfort. We may regret this mentality later, but I have found personally that people grow the most, mentally and personality-wise, when they can test their limits of comfort and expand them. For Keegan this new limit was walking on his own. Keegan loves crowds of people and loves exploring new places. Lyle and I didn't have a lot to do and weren't in a hurry, so we went to the mall.
We found out that Keegan does not believe that he needs to ride in a stroller anymore. That was okay, as I said we weren't in a hurry, so we let him walk. Usually he holds your hand and walks nicely beside you. Alas, it 'twas not meant to be! As soon as I grabbed Keegan's hand he jerked his hand out of mine and, with a defiant look, took off. This behavior was slightly bratty and kind of amusing. We had purchased a harness for Keegan, so this little fit got Keegan the privilege of wearing a harness. Kind of a compromise; Keegan could walk and not hold our hand as long as he wore the harness.
We meandered through Macy's; sometimes letting Keegan lead the way, sometimes not. By the time we got the entrance of the mall from Macy's Keegan was getting tired. He kept tripping over his feet. So we put him in the stroller. This was not popular with Keegan but after a couple minutes of protesting he calmed down and enjoyed the ride. That is one thing I am learning about babies. Although I like Keegan to test his limits, he doesn't have the common sense to know when he has reached his limits.
So a quick side note: the mission of this whole shopping trip was to get me a new swimsuit. I hate shopping for swimsuits. Interestingly enough I did find some swimsuits in Macy's. Lyle and Keegan came into the colossal fitting room with me so I could try them. I like Lyle to give his opinion on the suits but I refuse to walk out of the fitting room in them. Somehow the lighting in the department store is made to make you look as horrible as possible. Somehow Lyle also seems to have a much better opinion of my body than I do. These two things balance each other out. Lyle knows just what to say to make me feel like the swimsuit looks good on me and I stand and stare at myself in the mirror trying to see what he sees :-)
Something we learned about fitting rooms: fitting rooms and babies don't really mix. Keegan liked peeking under the fitting room wall into the stall next to me. This was fine until a lady went in there. Then the lady got a surprise. There is something wrong about my 11 month old son peeking at ladies changing cloths under a fitting room wall. Luckily he is cute enough that people still have a sense of humor about it.
Okay, back to Keegan walking. We went the Herbergers and Keegan was starting to get restless in his stroller. So we let him out and put his harness on. He immediately ran underneath a display table with purses on it. I gently corralled him out of there. He did it again. Keegan thought it was *so* funny to run under there because we couldn't. Finally Keegan went under the table and wouldn't move. So I crawled under and got him out. Keegan was not pleased. As I mentioned in the last post, he screamed and kicked and hit, then screamed some more. At that point I got kind of pissed off. This was no longer fun; this was about Keegan being stubborn and persistent and deliberately doing what we asked him not to. Screw Keegan testing his limits, he was just being a brat. So with screaming child under arm and Lyle trailing with an empty stroller we left the store. We then put Keegan into the stroller (more screaming ensued) and left the mall.
There were two things that really surprised me about this experience. The first was that my sweet little boy, who loved holding hands and walking and always let me lead him places, had disappeared to be replaced by a assertive, opinionated little brat. The little angel that has never thrown a fit in public; threw one. The second thing was that it didn't really bother me as much as I thought it would. I thought I would be embarrassed when Keegan threw a fit, I thought my face would get red with embarrassment and I would get stressed out and break into a cold sweat. I didn't. It seemed as natural as anything to force this boundary on Keegan and take him screaming out of the store.
This incident wasn't about the people around us; it was about me, Keegan, and Lyle. I am not sure what the second part says about me; maybe I have relaxed some in my old age. Or maybe I just know Keegan. His is outgoing, adventurous, and fearless...I have known since he was born that he was going to be a boundary pusher. It seems completely natural that we are going to have some power struggles; boundaries and discipline will be needed. It will be difficult to find the right balance between giving him the freedom he needs to grow, and setting boundaries so that he becomes a responsible, well-mannered child and adult.
Ah well, someday I will read this entry and laugh about the naiveness in letting Keegan have maximum free will. Whatever the future; raising Keegan promises to be an adventure.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Keegan speaks his first words...
At least I think you could call them words. Keegan has been doing "da da da" for a while. Just this weekend he's started saying "ma, ma, ma".
He has also started repeating syllables but not the noises. So he tries to say "bye, bye", although it comes out more like "baa, baa".
This morning he saw Jubei and pointed at him saying "ki, ki" which I think was a reasonable attempt at kitty. He then turned around and pointed at Ruby saying "dag, da" which could have been an attempt at doggie. It's always hard to tell but I think the little guy is really trying to give this talking thing a go.
We have still been trying to do sign language with him. Keegan has the sign for milk down really well. He seems to use the sign for milk when he wants something...not necessarily milk. He is pretty good with "all done" too. If you tell Keegan "No" for something (for example when he is trying to stick his foot in the dog's water bowl) he will look at you and smile and shake his head "no".
Although I can tell Keegan gets frustrated sometimes when he wants to do something and we just don't get it. Sometimes it takes quite a few tries before we can figure out what he wants. Keegan has definitely been exerting his will. He knows what he wants to do and throws a fit sometimes if he doesn't get to do it. It is interesting to watch him develop this strong, confident, sense of self. At the same time it gets frustrating when I am carrying him through a department store screaming (Keegan not me) because Keegan wanted to stand under the display table with purses on it all day and I wouldn't let him.
Quick note on Christmas...Christmas was fun and very busy. Keegan got a ton of presents and he also had a great time meeting all the "new" people. We'd like to thank everyone for the great presents and the wonderful company we had over Christmas!
He has also started repeating syllables but not the noises. So he tries to say "bye, bye", although it comes out more like "baa, baa".
This morning he saw Jubei and pointed at him saying "ki, ki" which I think was a reasonable attempt at kitty. He then turned around and pointed at Ruby saying "dag, da" which could have been an attempt at doggie. It's always hard to tell but I think the little guy is really trying to give this talking thing a go.
We have still been trying to do sign language with him. Keegan has the sign for milk down really well. He seems to use the sign for milk when he wants something...not necessarily milk. He is pretty good with "all done" too. If you tell Keegan "No" for something (for example when he is trying to stick his foot in the dog's water bowl) he will look at you and smile and shake his head "no".
Although I can tell Keegan gets frustrated sometimes when he wants to do something and we just don't get it. Sometimes it takes quite a few tries before we can figure out what he wants. Keegan has definitely been exerting his will. He knows what he wants to do and throws a fit sometimes if he doesn't get to do it. It is interesting to watch him develop this strong, confident, sense of self. At the same time it gets frustrating when I am carrying him through a department store screaming (Keegan not me) because Keegan wanted to stand under the display table with purses on it all day and I wouldn't let him.
Quick note on Christmas...Christmas was fun and very busy. Keegan got a ton of presents and he also had a great time meeting all the "new" people. We'd like to thank everyone for the great presents and the wonderful company we had over Christmas!
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Finally a main goal has been reached!
Okay I should be blogging about Christmas, and I will at a later time.
Last night Lyle and I finally reached a great milestone since Keegan has been born....are you ready for it??
Last night at around 7:30pm Lyle and I finished the first video game since Keegan has been born. Yes, we have only completed one video game since the little man joined our lives.
In case you are wondering the game was Ninja Gaiden Sigma for the PS3. It was a super tough game and the end boss battle was anticlimactic to say the least.
Last night Lyle and I finally reached a great milestone since Keegan has been born....are you ready for it??
Last night at around 7:30pm Lyle and I finished the first video game since Keegan has been born. Yes, we have only completed one video game since the little man joined our lives.
In case you are wondering the game was Ninja Gaiden Sigma for the PS3. It was a super tough game and the end boss battle was anticlimactic to say the least.
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