The Dangers of Babies R' Us

We are leaving for our road trip to South Dakota with Keegan next week. Lately Keegan's greatest joy in the whole world has been "walking" while holding onto us. Our last trip camping this was a problem because Keegan didn't have any shoes with traction to wear. Let me rephrase that; he doesn't have any shoes that fit. A lot of people gave us really cute shoes for Keegan to wear; Keegan wore size 2 shoes a couple weeks after birth. The kid never ever fit into newborn or size 1. So I decide to stop by Babies R Us, since it is close to my work and I want to get him shoes. As usual this ends up being a horrible financial decision.

I had marked out the length of Keegan's foot on a piece of paper so that I could properly size his shoes. With this piece of paper in hand I stride confidently into the store. I glance at the carts...do I need one? Not really for a pair of shoes but my umbrella is wet and I don't want to carry it. I get a cart and stick the wet umbrella in it. This is my first mistake.

As I enter the store with cart in hands I see the bottle/feeding section. Oh, I think, I was looking for one of those on-the-go pacifier cleaners to take on our trip. We have been having a lot of problem with Keegan pulling off his pacifier holder. I go over to the feeding section and find the pacifier cleaner. Next to the pacifier cleaner are the sippy cups. Keegan doesn't really like his sippy cup. He could use a couple more and this one type of sippy cup is really cool. Okay, 3 sippy cups go into the cart. I turn around to see scented travel bags for dirty diapers. I remember that the refills we got last time we were here didn't fit our bag holder. For a mere $3 I can get a diaper bag holder that fits the refills I got at home. New dirty diaper bag holder goes into the cart.

Finally I make it over to the shoes. Checking against the size chart I find that Keegan is a size 4. Wow, he has really big feet. I go over to the soft soled shoes with traction; you know the ones for beginning walkers. These types of shoes only go up to size 3. That is unless you get Converse brand baby shoes; these are $20 and go up to size 6 with soft soles and traction. I pick up the size 4 converse shoes and put them in the cart. I walk two steps; thinking this through...I don't even have a pair of Converse shoes at home. I go put the shoes back. I get a soft-soled pair of larger looking size 3 shoes and a hard-soled pair of size 4 shoes. I am probably spending over $20 by getting two pairs of shoes. I shrug, give up, and look up to see socks.

Keegan always seems to be out of socks. I pick out 4 pairs of white socks and throw them in the cart. I realize the socks don't have traction on them. I picture Keegan in his last pair of socks without traction on them; he pulled himself up on the rails, his feet slipped, and he hit his head on the floor. I put all the socks back. There are no white socks with traction. I wander around until I finally find white socks with traction prepackaged. There are 6 pairs in the bag for $5. Sounds good to me.

I realize I am over by the winter coats. Keegan needs a winter coat. There is a great winter coat with snowpants. It's $40 but that seems somewhat reasonable based on what I've seen other places. I find it in Keegan's size and put it in the cart. I look at the coat more carefully it is a London Fog jacket. Does my baby really need a designer snowsuit set? I decide that Lyle should have some say in Keegan's winter attire. I put the coat back on the rack.

Next I see I am near the toys. I really want to get Keegan a ride-on toy. They have a cute push buggy over there that he could ride on and push. I play with it for a while. It doesn't seem that tispy. I start to put it in the cart. I look at the price it's $50. Huh, I put it back. Maybe Lyle should help me pick that out too.

Now I am in the toys. I think "wouldn't it be nice if Keegan had a couple new toys for the long car ride to South Dakota?" I pick out some fun toys for him. I see some really cool magnetic blocks; the engineer in me is delighted. We could get Keegan building engineering structures at the young age of 8 mo with these awesome magnetic blocks. They are $20; I put them back; I pick them up again. I can't resist; we need these blocks in the name of education and science. Speaking of blocks; for the car it would be nicer to have toys that can hang off of plastic loops in the car. We're out of loops. The loops and toys that hang off of them are over by the feeding section. I go over there and get some plastic loops. I get a couple cool toys that hang off of loops. Look there's a cool toy that sticks onto things with a suction cup. That would be awesome for in restaurants and at the table; I put that in the cart.

I realize I am back where I started; in the feeding section. To get to the check-out I have to walk by the baby cloths. Keegan really needs a couple more sleepers; he's outgrown all but 5 of them. I go into the cloths; I pick up sleepers and put them into the cart. I remember that Costco has the same Carter's brand sleepers for way cheaper. I put the sleepers back. I peruse through the clothing trying to find the cute knight themed clothing that I resisted buying on my last trip here. To my relief I can't find it. I look at my watch; I've been here 45 minutes. Time to leave.

I finally get to the check-out line. In my cart I have 3 sippy cups, two pairs of shoes, a pacifier cleaner, a disposible dirty diaper bag holder, a bag of socks, a bag of plastic rings, and a total of seven new toys for Keegan. As the lady rings this up she asks me if any of it is off of a gift registry. I say No; she does a double take on all the toys. I tell her we are going on a road trip and that I am doing early Xmas shopping. All of this rings up to around $100. I blink in surprise...how did this happen? I just came in here to get $20-$30 in shoes. How did seven toys get into the shopping cart? Is Keegan here somewhere, unseen, throwing stuff in for me? Maybe he *will* get some of the toys for Christmas. Not that he will know the difference; it's Christmas every week for Keegan.

As I drive over to meet my girlfriend for lunch; I realize that Babies R Us is an exceedingly dangerous place for me. Walking into that place is getting almost as bad as when I go to Super Target. Almost....but not quite. Maybe it's not really my fault; I am sure the stores are designed to torture us into buying all of these "necessary" objects. Yea, that must be it.